Hw # 54

I grew up going to church every Sunday of my life from the moment I was a crying baby to today and probably will continue to until the end of my life. This was something very important to my parents because they had been taken to church every week and had been passed down this religion, so they wanted to do the same with their own kids. The priest at my church talked of this way parents would enforce their religion on their kids back in the day and now due to growth of technology and many more ideas taught in school he believed that these days were over. He told me how one time a young couple came into the church that had been standing shyly in the back, so he approached them. He asked them what they were observing and they said how beautiful the church was. Thus leading him to ask them what they believed in, the young man quickly responded science, he spoke of how science can explain everything even life. The young girl responded she was a Buddhist. This reminded me of a part I read in Curtains, of author saying how believing in something whether it in science or Catholicism it keeps us going on with our day, to believe that there is an explanation for life, for death and the afterlife or else we’d just be shriveled up in a corner.

Then in a text we read in church on the Sunday of mother's day it connected to the whole aspect of the afterlife and Heaven from A reading from the Act of the Apostles 2:14, 22 – 23, it said “ I saw the lord ever before me, with him at my right hand I shall not be disturbed. Therefore my heart has been glad and my tongue has been exulted; my flesh too, will dwell in hope, because you will not abandon my soul to the netherworld, nor will you suffer your holy one to see corruption. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence” (Liturgical Press 253). In the last sentence David speaks of how God will not abandon him into the “netherworld”; nothingness the minute he dies but instead will go to heaven at his side. This is the part of this religion that is comforting to the catholic people or even those who just believe the idea of a Heaven because it is nice to believe that death is not the end of everything. This thought can be overwhelming because anyone who loves life and living, don’t want to think that after death there is just a gaping hole of nothingness. This according to Bible and the priest the way you go to Heaven, if you follow the path of God and if one ever commits a sin must confess to be cleansed of our sins when the day comes to meet God.

Then my little brother told me about a place called the Purgatory that he was taught about in Sunday school by a catechist, where he has to attend to be confirmed. She told him of how when someone dies in an accident and/or dies without having their sins forgiven; they will not go to Heaven or Hell but a place called the Purgatory. Where the person’s soul (soul is what goes to Heaven or Hell while our body rots and eaten by worms), remains in the " in between" between Heaven and Hell while family below prays for the person’s forgiveness of their sins and if they regretted their sins they will go to Heaven. If they did not they would go to Hell. In Sunday school, children are taught fully in depth all the ideas of this religion and have their questions answered to actually know about the religion they are practicing.

Hw # 53 - Independent Research A

1)

Article 1:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/15/nyregion/in-funeral-industry-womens-presence-grows.html?_r=1&scp=2&sq=funeral&st=cse

Precis - Women are taking over jobs in the funeral industry. This was not so in the 1970s, the gap between the number of male versus females working at funeral homes now has closed. 7 year old Lisa knew the moment she saw body of her dead great uncle that she wanted to take part in this process of making a dead person look peaceful. For women it was harder for them to obtain a job in this industry than it was for a male. Even today, people are surprised to see a woman driving a hearse.

This is an aspect of this unit we haven't touched upon much, on the actual people who work in these funeral homes that take care of the bodies of our loved ones. The history behind the gender that has been working in this industry from back in the day specifically 1970s to now, year 2011. It wasn't much of a surprise because I can see how back then the male role played more of the one who took care of things, without women seeing or participating in it because of their fear of death.

Article 2:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/12/nyregion/12funerals.html?scp=6&sq=funeral&st=cse

The second you see these three words: music, food and drinks everyone thinks of a party, but not for the people from Ghana. In Ghana, these things are a part of a funeral which for them are the biggest expense made to celebrate the life of person who has passed away. People who attend these funerals are not expected the person who has passed away but can donate money helping family rise money for rest of the funeral expenses or to send the body back to Africa.

This article helped answer one of my questions that I had from the beginning of this unit, of how other places in the world do funerals and their rituals. I found it fascinating how these people from Ghana instead of Americans don't see this time as sadness but a time to have a festivity to drink to the person who has passed away. I wonder though if they were close to family member do they have any sorrow even if just in privacy of their home and then celebrate? To find two different other culture's rituals for funerals is fun and lets one be open to other ideas on what to request for our own funeral.

2)

Larche and I went to the Frank E. Campbell The Funeral Chapel, the funeral home near my house. The moment we entered the huge black metal doors, the reception was lightly dimmed. The receptionist was a petite pale woman dressed in all black who spoke softly. The place was old - fashioned and cold, with velvet walls, wooden furniture and chandeliers covering the ceiling. The decor had a vampire - esque feel to it. What also caught my eye was that straight ahead of entrance in the back was a room full of white stone blocks which of course thinking of vampires I thought were coffins but then I peered closer because I knew that was silly thought and saw that they were pews of the funeral home's chapel. We asked about the deterioration of the bodies and we were told that they are prohibited from representing that the deterioration of human remains can be prevented for more than a limited time by embalming, caskets, vaults or outer interment receptacles. Did you know that the direct cremation price ranges from $8,500 to $13,000?! There are also several disclosures made by the State, for example one New York State disclosure was that if you want to arrange a direct cremation, you may use an unfinished wooden box or alternative container. Another disclosure was an authorization is required for a funeral home to obtain custody of a body, and a body must be released promptly upon request.

It was astonishing to see the price of all that goes into every little detail of our funeral, like the casket to embalming, clothing or service. When I showed my mom the prices, she said something that I thought was true, "Well you better start saving. Living is expensive but so is dying." I thought being cremated might be less expensive but cremations are just as expensive. Before this research didn't know exact pricing or all things you could purchase and it seems like such a hassle. I am glad that when I die won't have to worry about all this because there is not much for me to do but lay in my box. I also found it interesting that there was chapel in the very own funeral home allowing religious families to have a service for their loved one who has passed away. For me it was the first time entering a funeral home and I probably would have never unless someone close to me died.

Hw # 50

Hi, my name is Tom Jokinken and the writer of book called Curtains: Adventures of an Undertaker – in – Training. I had moved to Winnipeg to be in the same postal code as my wife where I worked at CBC radio at first, but I then decided to take a month’s leave to intern at a family – owned funeral home. This is where I was inspired to write this book and the whole reason why came to work there was because, I wanted to find out why we humans do certain things when some one dies and how we handle the body, the left overs. Neil the owner of this funeral home toured me around the first day, where I got to see the stillness of empty old ladies and the violence of retort. (Retort is where body are place to be cremated, number one retort deal with heavier bodies while number two retort preferred thin elderly bodies without much fat). After interning there for a few months I decided wanted to stay longer, so quit my job at CBC radio, starting a new life.

· “ Two rules for picking up a body at the hospital, known as a “removal”: (1) Make sure it’s the right one. This is business, when you shake it down to first principles, is the burial or cremation of the dead, two irreversible acts… (2) Never stop for food on the way back to the funeral home when you’re “carrying,” not even at a drive – thru. It’s bad for the brand, and is apt to put other drive thru – ers off doughnuts.” (Jokinken 1)

· There’s a time, from when someone dies to when they magically pop up at the funeral or the cemetery or as a bag of ashes, that remains a black hole, invisible to the rest of the world, and everyone’s happy with the arrangement. We in the funeral service cover the gap. People pay us to keep to ourselves what goes on there”. (Jokinken 5)

· “ … humans are the only ones who know they’re going to die and even worse, they know they know it, and it’s not something they can “unknow.” All they can do is distract themselves, briefly, like you might mask the smell of burnt food by spraying the kitchen with Lysol”. (Jokinken 7)

· “ Look at it this way: We evolved, beautifully, from monkeys into type – A control freaks, with a system (government, laws, religion, organized labor and technology) designed to overcome nature. And for the most part, we pulled it off. There are only two weak spots where chaos sneaks in, wild, wet and savage, reminding us we’re doomed animals: sex and death. So we devised taboos to deal with former, to take away its power, and ritual to weaken the chaotic impact of the latter”. (Jokinken 22)

· “ What matters is the physical fact of death. We need to see it to know it, touch its hair or hands, feel how cold it is… If you don’t see the body, it’s as if it was lost at sea and you can harbor dreams that your loved one is still alive on some desert island with a coconut tree sending messages in bottles like in a New Yorker cartoon”. (Jokinken 86)

This text has a tone of lightness when talking of death and deathcare, making reader even laugh at these topics with a joke author makes like the one he says about bringing body along when going through a drive - thru is a definite no no because it would give the place a bad name. Letting me, the reader imagine this happening, how all the cars behind his would swerve around and leave with sick stomaches instead of a full one of doughnuts. His detail of the rituals being done to dead bodies for example the one of him watching the bodies being places in the retorts to be cremated were gruesome and violent for the reader, how the body becomes simply human dust and pieces of bone. It was sad during the scene where he is helping dress the dead old ladies, because they were well groomed it was hard to believe they were empty, goners when author believes they would rather be sitting on their couch watching Wheel of Fortune. It made think of how one day I'll be in this position of being prepped for burial, laying lifeless when I'd rather not be... Well so far after reading first third of the book, I am enjoying the book.

Hw # 49

Evan,

By interviewing your parents about the care of the dead, something I'm sure you would have never done, or I would have done with my own parents before this unit. You were able to find out about your parents views on the care of the dead and even found that they act similarly during these situations.The line I most valued was," I agree with my parents even when I questioned the system being morally right... Yet I thought this system was a social practice and all social practices have bonders that if crossed you were out casted but the system allows for any variation imaginable which makes it beautiful." From every units we have learned some way of how our social practices may seem normal but actually if looked more closely have a negative aspect, so I wonder what it'll be in this unit. Only thing that would have made this post even better would have been questioning parents a little more, maybe how they want to be cared or the emotions that they or other around them felt during a funeral or any other question you had. But other than that good job!

Stephanie

To start with you had great questions, questions that would receive good answers with little elaboration. But i've learned after couple of interview that it helps to tell them some background info first on what we are studying this unit for them to be able to answer well. But overall it was good, how you learned how your mothers have two complete different point of views on belief of the dead but still agree on that there should be a certain respect for the dead. I liked how the last line wrapped up your blog, " Asking my parents these clarifying questions definitely helped me understand there thoughts and beliefs on how they would handle the care of the dead" because for me this HW did the same thing for me. Only thing could have done was to proof read, besides that well done!

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Protege:

Michelle,

On a basic level this post (Hw#46) is about how different people and cultures care for their dead and how they perform their funeral rituals, specifically in Mexico. As well as the topic of death itself that you've experienced. I value the aspect of wanting to learn more about different culture's funeral rituals. It matters to me because now I realize that not everyone performs same rituals and don't what these different rituals are, looking at this topic through one perspective. The only small thing that would have made this post 100% better would be to know what those other questions you have in this unit.

Mentor:

Michelle,

This Post is very true; people don't really talk about death or mortality yet it is something no one can escape. I have also not had anyone close to me pass away but it must be scary knowing someone that you were with him or her in their last moments or if you could have prevented it. I like how you brought up different cultures and religions as their views on death, the care of the dead and afterlife in some cases are very different and something I find very interesting. This is a subject that I think should be talked about a bit more at home just to get any the fear that some people have out of the way or to answer any questions young people may have. I’m sure most of these answers will be varied because of different religions but that way kids have more comfort I would have loved to hear more about the details of different cultures and religions in regards to death and the care of the dead as some see it as the end of life and others as a transition to something else, but otherwise I think this is very well written and gives readers some insight on Mexican culture and their culture when it comes to the death of a loved one.

From Stephanie,

It was so interesting reading your initials thoughts. I also found it interesting that at your age some one close hasn't died, know a days I hear about death left and right because of all these diseases such as cancer, aids, etc. I liked how you really got into detail about how your culture handles the dead and if our culture took on some rituals from your culture the death process might be more about the dead loved one instead of what there coffin looks like and how much money is spent on the tombstone. I noticed your grammar and spelling has improved tremendously, keep up the great work!

From Evan,

To Michelle - First I want to say your blessed because a lot of my family has past away in resent years. You talked about one of your class mates ding which I can't imagine ever happening to one of my fellow classmates. This must have been a bit traumatizing for you seeing a person the same age as you dying. A friend i lost contact with died and it was hard for me to handle. I cant imagine what you went threw at the age of 13. You made a great comment "As a child, I was innocent and the concept of dead people hadn’t been introduced to me yet" Children are hidden from death in general because adults feel that death is to real for them to see. But is it really to real, if children's shows didn't portray people as living forever would it be hard for children to accept? Great Post !!!

HW # 48

I decided to first interview my mom, who is Roman Catholic and Mexican. She grew in a town where almost everyone knew each other, so she attended several funerals through out her life. From all the funerals attended only one stood out, because in Mexico back then and still today many practice Catholicism, making the rituals all pretty much the same at every funeral. Rituals that I mentioned about in my previous blog # 46, “ the Mexican people have them at home in the casket covered surrounded by wreaths of flowers. Where the family and friends prays over the coffin because in Mexico, homes are actual houses not tiny apartments. Then the next day he or she is taken to the cemetery and the priest comes to pray and bless him or her before the person is finally buried. Then for 9 nights, they pray for this person but on the ninth night they pray with the cross that like a gravestone will be placed over the grave.” This time my mom adds that there is always someone guiding others in pray for the person who has passed away.

The funeral that stood out to her the family was from another religion (she thinks it might have been Evangelic but does not remember too well). Where instead of the usual praying over body, they incinerate the body right away holding no mass for the person who has passed away. The emotions my mother says that were felt in the room at every funeral she went to were of sadness, pain, suffering but most of all compassion for the family of the person who is now dead. What surprised me most during the interview was when I asked her if she had decided on how she would like to be cared for once she has passed away, and she said “No…” I was shocked because I expected it to be an immediate answer. She continues to say; “ I think my children will decide for me according to our religion and customs.” Again another shock, because I thought everyone might care to input on how they would like to be cared for after their death. But I think she trusts us to make the right decisions, knowing fully well my mother would never want to be incinerated and mentioned that she would like to be buried in her native land. In Mexico, buried beside the tomb of her parents.

Not done....

Hw # 47

PERSON # 1

1) Tell me a little bit about yourself; your background and age?

– I am 16 and I am Italian and Scotch Irish and I like to play soccer.

2) Have you ever been at a funeral?

a) If so what was it like if you can recall? The emotions you felt?

– I recall it being extremely sad; it was for a family member. It was about 2 to 3 years ago, meaning I was about 13 years old, so I knew what was going on. But it was still all new to me, and I had known him fairly well. What was new to me was the idea of death and what happens to the person once they die. All I could was comfort, to comfort my aunt by hugging her because it had been her husband.

b) If so how many?

– Just been to one Ms. Guzman.

3) Do you know how people from your background or religion take care of the dead?

Any special rituals conducted?

– We just do the normal catholic tradition, a wake and then a funeral. A wake is when the body out so everyone can see it. Then everyone goes up to the body and prays for them and gives their respects. It was a little weird for me, to see him in the casket. I could only see him from torso up, and he just looked at peace and so calm.

4) Have you decided on how you would like to be cared of? Buried or Cremated? Any specific place you would like to be buried?

– No I haven’t… Don’t really want to talk about.

PERSON # 2

1)

– So I am 16, going to be 17 at the end of this month. I am a junior at Beacon High School. I aspire to become a nurse specifically for the military. I practice shotokan karate and currently have a green belt. I play soccer and volleyball for fun.

2)

a) – Nope but I went to a memorial service at school recently. It was quiet and somber at first, a lot of silent tears and people speaking in whispers, but as my principal began as my principal began the service by asking the seniors to talk about memories they had of him and the mood changed and the laughter was heard, as some funny stories were untold.

b) – None

3) – An alter is put up in the family’s living room with their picture and favorite foods and personal objects. This is a Mexican and catholic ritual my family does, when someone passes away. It’s like the Day of the Dead (a Mexican tradition) but on the Day of the Dead everyone who has passes away are remembered and this can’t be done on their anniversary.

PERSON # 3

1)

- I am a female age of 17 :)

2)

a) - No I have never been at a funeral. In my culture only males attend a funeral; females stay back at home. I haven't been to one so I wouldn't know. Bust from what I heard from people who have attended its a hard time for everyone because it's like a shock wave. It takes time to accept the fact that someone has moved on to wherever they may be. Everyone usually cries or has depressed looks upon their faces; it's not a pretty sight. Again, this is not from my own personal experience.

b)– Zero

3)

- Yeah, in my religion there is a set of rules to follow when someone dies. The process after death occurs as soon as possible; no time is wasted, because we want the body to rest in peace without a long wait. First the body is taken home and given a holy bath. Then it is prepared to be buried; cotton is stuffed into the ears and the nose then a white cloth is placed over it. The close male family members then carry the body to the grave site and bury it while giving it prayers and reading parts of the Quran to it. The women back at home recite special prayers and surahs from the Quran; they count the number of times they read it by using date or fruit seeds. This goes on for several days. I am not sure but there is something that has to do with a 40 day period. Within these 40 days it is important to keep reading the Quran and praying for the one who died on a daily basis.

4)

- I don't need to make a decision; my decision is already made based on the religion I follow. Islam disapproves of cremation and has specific rites for how the body should be treated after death. Uh...no i don't have a specific place in mind to be buried; never thought about it before and I don't wanna think about that any time soon.

All the teenagers when I asked the final question, it took them a minute to think about it. I believe this is because humans in their teens don't think of death at this time in our lives, because (being one myself) we are young so we feel invincible and the thought of how we would like to be cared for once we are dead doesn't come up in our daily conversations or thoughts. I never before this unit thought of how I would like to go, buried or cremated. Hopefully this unit will help me make this decision or if not maybe later life I will find my answer. At the moment I want to buried, here in NY the place I was born in and have lived in my entire life. Through these interviews I was able to learn a bit more on other cultures and religions and their take on how a person must be cared for after he/she 's death. I also noticed that the teens I've interviewed have never been to a funeral or have only attended a few, I wonder why that is? Is it because as teens we ignore the dying that happens around us until we reach closer to the end? The second person I interviewed brought to my attention another ritual we do once the person has passed away to commemorate like a memorial service.

Hw # 46***(This one)

My personal experience with this topic is less than what the typical person has, because I fortunately have not had anyone close to me die. But then again I haven’t lived for so long. Unless you count the time I was in middle school, I recall it being 7^th grade and I was playing basketball with a boy who hours later was announced dead. After announcing the person has died, hospitals always do an autopsy to find out the cause of death before burying or cremating them, unless the family does not give consent for it. In my classmate’s case, due to his family’s religion, they did not allow an autopsy. Many of his classmates and I were invited to his funeral, but at the time I remember not wanting to go. I did not want to recall him as someone now laying dead in a casket but who he had been a funny and jubilant teenager.

As a child, I was innocent and the concept of dead people hadn’t been introduced to me yet. Making me believe that we were immortals, until of course it came up at school, a place where most people learn about these things like death, curses, sex, etc… After finding out, I also learned that in my parent’s and now my religion Catholic people tend to be buried, something I’m not sure yet on which way I want to go. A decision everyone must make and if made too late, others will make for him or her when they pass away, having a burial OR a cremation. When someone died that my parents knew, I learned that every time they mentioned the person’s name they would say “ Insert name, en paz descansa.” Which in English means RIP – rest in peace, which my family and my culture does after naming a person who had passed away, out of respect.

In my culture (Mexican) instead of having the dead person in a coffin at the graveyard and standing over watching the coffin being buried, the Mexican people have them at home in the casket covered surrounded by wreaths of flowers. Where the family and friends prays over the coffin because in Mexico, homes are actual houses not tiny apartments. Then the next day he or she is taken to the cemetery and the priest comes to pray and bless him or her before the person is finally buried. Then for 9 nights, they pray for this person but on the ninth night they pray with the cross that like a gravestone will be placed over the grave. This is how people in Mexico take car of their dead, a country where many of the people are Catholics but of course everyone has his or her own little changes.

Something I would like to learn more about during this unit is what do other religions or cultures do for the care of their dead. For example, I remember learning that in Egypt many of the royals and people would have all their gold and treasure be buried with them. So what is it like in Brazil, India, etc? Do the Jews, Christians or any other religion have different rituals? These are some of the questions I would like have answered during the course of this unit.