Hw #58

Interviews of -

A person my age: The reason why I am not participating is because I believe it is a waste of time and money. The reason I believe it is a waste of time is because prom is all about hype and unnecessary, it is all just a fantasy we want to live but will never happen. The last thing I need is on my list is another thing to stress about at this time of the year. I also feel that prom is based on attention and that is not who I am. Some of it has to do with my religion, I could have convinced my parents but I truly do not want to go. Another reason is I believe school is a place of learning not to be associated with prom or other unnecessary things, it makes us lose focus on what matters in the long run. At a job application, they don't ask what dress you wore to prom but your college degree and references.

A second person my age: The main reason why going to prom was because i was asked and din't want to let him down and everyone was on my case to go. Prom I think is an overrated event, and is made into bigger deal than it is. It also can be very stressful from the dress to where you with your date. I don't know what to expect but i also have suspect that people will use as an excuse to be someone else for the night, let go and be seen differently. I expect a lot of wow moments where turn around to friend and are like did you see that. I don't want my emotions to dictate how my night goes, at the moment have no excitement but hopefully once night comes I will. I can hopefully for the best but plan for the worst, like a wardrobe malfunction, some one else has same dress or how night goes with date. I do not see prom as a life changing experience, or retelling this to anyone later in life, there is much better moments later on. Can't wait for the night to pass!

A person a little older than me: I participated because it was the last big social gathering with friends and classmates before we went to college, that is what this event's purpose is for. Word of advice always tell your date you are actually going to go to prom... I didn't because I believed I wasn't go and then my friend called me and told me to go. I went and had a good time, even ended up going to an after party. Then a friend of mine asked me to take a picture with me, then next day she decides to put all her pictures up on Myspace, and my girlfriend found out I ended up going... Not a good look.

A person significantly older than me: I only attended my dance or what Americans call "prom" for half an hour because my parents were strict traditional Mexican parents and had to attend with my brothers. I was fun, i got to dance to the music that was popular at the time, disco. The time flew by and my friends asked me to stay but I told them I had to go or I'd get in trouble. I wanted to stay and dance the entire night but unfortunately could not. I remember the dress being a blue turquoise tulle dress, and was long. Wore with white heels and long white gloves. First we danced with a designated partner, a rehearsed dance and then the rest of dances were of our choice. I was excited because i never had chance before to wear a long dress and after the ceremony they would hand us our diploma.

Another person significantly older than me: My dance in my senior year at "prepa" which is high school in Mexico, was worth it because was able to spend time with my friends. It gave me a chance to catch up with friends I hadn't talked to for awhile and ask them their plans after graduation, even share with them my own plans. We had a lot of expectations for this event because there was going to be a live music band that I liked, so was excited and nervous. I wore that night a casual attire but neat because the event was outdoors and hot out, so we all agreed not to wear suits. A date for this event was not required which I thought was good because I had a chance to dance with more friends. At the end of night, when leaving event felt very tired but at the same time very happy, the dance had fulfilled my expectations and till today I am left with good memories.

Hw # 57

Prom, makes me recall all the images I’ve ever seen in magazines and movies about this theme. Which I will be comparing to the real event, to see it meets the expectations being promoted in our society on how great the night will be. There is a whole Seventeen magazine dedicated to prom styles for the dress, shoes, hair and makeup. My own experience with prom was not the usual stressing event, where one goes dress shopping for hours for a dress and then for shoes. I simply picked up first nice dress I saw that would be fit for the event and bought it. To tell you the truth I’m kind of sick of all the prom talk, especially this week when it is a few days away because it seems to be the topic of every conversation.

The importance of prom I believe is it being a rite of passage not just from adolescence to adulthood, but representing the end of high school! When we get to leave the house (if you are going away for college), live with little adult supervision and for most part fend on our own, a huge change from living at home.

Every one talks about prom, but we haven’t really talks about the after prom. For teens it is just as important to find a cool place to spend the rest of the night after prom. Or what about the before, what are teens doing before prom? The girls are doing their makeup but what about the guys? Some may be waiting around anxiously waiting to pick up dates or spraying themselves with a little too much cologne. The before and after are just as important as the actual event because it also play a part on how good the night goes.

Questions:

1) The history behind prom – When did it start to become a social norm?

2) What does the corsage symbolize?

3) Why is it just a heterosexual event?

4) Why do people decide to lose their virginity that night out of all nights?

COTD2

In this 1971 movie, the main character Harold, a young man in his twenties who is obsessed and passionate about death. His mother is a wealthy, controlling, cold mother who wants to marry Harold off in a respectable marriage, but every time she sets him up on date he scares them away by re – enacting suicides. In the first scene, he hangs himself and his mom walks in looks at him calmly then continues with her phone call, his mother is used to his hobby for her benefit. The scene changes and he is in a funeral, then you realize he doesn’t know the person who has died, he simply goes for his own enjoyment. At a funeral is where he meets Maude, at first he notices her because she is not easy to miss with her demeanor and dress. Then the second time he sees her, she approaches him and offers him licorice, and this is when director focuses on the word “permaseal” on the coffin of the man who died. A visual metaphor, I believe meaning that the coffin had a permanent seal and will never be opened again representing death. At first I was confused on why he did these sorts of things on his free time, but then there was a sentimental scene between Maude and Harold that lets audience understand why. After having a few drinks, he becomes tearful and says, “ I haven’t lived. (Pause) I’ve died a few times”. Before meeting Maude he was “dead” metaphorically because he never enjoyed life the way Maude did. He retells the time of when he performed his first suicide, it had been an accident he was mixing chemicals in a lab at school causing an explosion. He was fine, so he went home going straight to his room. Police officers came to tell his mother he had died in the explosion and she faints. For the first and last time ever, his mother showed affection and she cared about him. So he would perform them again and again, hoping to get the same response it got him the first time. Before meeting Maude he wasn’t afraid of death, he didn’t care if he was going to die someday because he didn’t enjoy life. But Maude opened his eyes making him in the final scene throw his hearse over the cliff, a new start.

Maude character is free and caring, she had been an activist in her youth and with a close-up of a concentration camp tattoo, you can make the assumption that she had a hard life before and now was making the most of it. In a scene, where they drink Harold mentions drinking is a vice and she responds, “ It’s best not to be moral. You cheat yourself out of too much life”. Maude unlike Harold’s mother doesn’t care about morals or rules. She lives her life, as she wants not letting morals, authority or religion get in the way. Maude has the best lines, in another scene where they are both in a sort of greenhouse and she says, “I like to watch things grow, they grow and bloom, and fade and die and change into something else” Maude compares life to the natural world in this case the flowers, flowers like us grow up then “fade” in our case get old and then die, and can change into something else. She sees death as part of the cycle of birth and death, and believes 80 years old is the perfect year to die. She is not affiliated to any religion, like I mentioned before she lives life without following any standards. I found it comical how Maude would steal or “borrow” things from others like cars or objects in her home, her explanation for this was “ Some people get upset because they think they have a hold on something. I’m merely acting as a gentle reminder. Here today gone tomorrow. So don’t get attached to things”. Which I found was true, we are all going to die one day and sometimes we forget it and become attached to an object, materialistic. But why should we be? It’s not like we can take our iPod with us to heaven or wherever we believe we will end up after death (which reminded of funeral director who came in and told us people would throw images of MacBook or iPhone hoping it would leave with them).

Harold’s mother throughout the movie shows she is religious; a devoted Christian because when Harold tells her, he wants to marry Maude she sends him to priest. Also when Harold is leaving after telling his mother (Mrs. Chasen) this, you can see a cross with Jesus on it in the background in a sort of alter, again showing she was religious, unlike Maude or Harold. In another scene where Mrs. Chasen is asking Harold questions to fill out a dating questionnaire, she begins to answer them herself not letting Harold respond. One of the questions that she read said something like, “ The religion, you practice believe in life after death?” and she of course respond “Yes, indeed!” Mrs. Chasen believed in life after death, because it kept her sane and it was the reason why she act the way she did with Harold. She wanted him to follow the morals she had for herself and wanted him to marry to take adult responsibilities.

COTD1

This was the second time in my whole life I had entered a cemetery, and it felt eerie to enter it at first. At first I walked slowly and spoke in a whisper because I felt like I was intruding and couldn't seem happy but mournful being that I was surrounded by all these dead bodies under me. I sat down at bench and looked at all the inscriptions on the gravestones, many of which were only pieces now or had faded away. Then I thought to myself, I'll be here one day and I felt my stomach drop to even think of it. I will eventually be six feet under, while people walk around above me not wondering who I was or even caring, going about their day with their own problems and thoughts. I noticed there were black birds resting on the grass in the second cemetery I visited, which at first I thought were crows because one images them when thinking of death.

I recall the first time I entered a cemetery was in Mexico, where my grandma took me to my grandfather's grave, who I unfortunately never met in person. The cemeteries in Mexico are a bit different then they are in New York, for example they aren't attached to any church, just a land full of grass filled only with gravestones with a scenery of hills, full view of sky and smell of fresh crisp air rather then a backdrop of buildings. Another difference were the graves, they had little mini closets with a view in every side(they have glass windows) next to the grave. For my grandfathers, my grandma had a key for it and abuela tells me she frequently comes to switch the flowers for fresh ones and a new candle. Many place a picture of Virgin Mary and/or of Jesus, a rosary and candles in the closet because most of the population being catholic. This also another way to have a reason to return to the grave of your loved ones and also caring because it shows the deceased if they can see that we have not forgotten them.

I was surprised to see a lot of people visiting the cemetery, although mostly tourists but still that would have never been a pit stop if I was traveling somewhere unless I just happened upon it. While walking around in the cemetery(one at Trinity and one at St. Paul) I felt that I was finally facing death face to face, and the realization of my mortality. I haven't lost anyone, so I have no one to visit at a cemetery but when I do I would like to visit at least twice a year, to always remember them until my day comes to join them.

Hw # 56

Jay

You and Rossi went to funeral homes looking for more information and another view on the care of the dead, straight from the people who work in these homes. An aspect I valued from your post was the type of questions you asked the receptionist, because they received interesting responses from this woman. The reason why this project matters to me is that it let me understand why these people work in this industry, how I at first like you mentioned thinks it is weird to have such a passion fro death or the care of the dead. But now I wonder why is it so different from having a passion for fashion or computers? Is it because our society makes us look at this as weird? The only thing that you could've done to make this post even better would have been analyzing what she said a little more or even just comparing it to what you want done when you die. Overall good job!

http://allevidencetothecontrary.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55.html#comments

Megumi,

After watching "A Family Undertaker" you mention that became interested in home funerals, so you decided to research more on this and also see if home funerals are restricted in New York State. I valued the topic of this project because it is a topic that was important to you personally being that you currently live in New York and might like to have a home funeral. I also after watching this documentary found home funerals interesting, they seemed more personal than the ones done at funeral homes. Your project mattered to me because now I know that I can choose to have a home funeral here in New York, of course with attendance of a funeral director. Enjoyed reading your post, only thing could have added to make it better would have been comparing it more to regular funerals, but besides that good job!

http://meguminormalisweird.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw55-culminating-project-care-of-dead.html#comments

Kristen,

You had a brochure with overview of each type of funeral: sea burial, home funeral, cremation and memorial reef, and it was nice to just look at a brochure on it like the ones given to you in funeral homes. I valued that you taught us more about the sea burial and memorial reef something we didn't touch upon much during this unit and had never heard of before. Also visuals for a reader like your brochure filled with new knowledge but a quick read, allowing the reader to not lose interest. A reason why this project matters to me is because it lets me know there are more options than having a simple burial. So that when I make my decision i have all this prior knowledge to help me make my decision. Only thing could have done was talk more about each burial on your post besides the pictures but other than that great job!

http://khriisthebest.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55.html#comments

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Michelle,

This post discusses a very interesting topic, what happens to our bodies after we die varies greatly form country, religion and beliefs. I hope everyone has the chance to plan there end but chances are it’ll happen when you least expect it, but I for one would not like to be cremated as I would fear feeling my self be set on fire. Hinduism originated in India and they believe in re-incarnation and that we never truly die just our physical body. In Hinduism, Buddhism and Catholicism death is seen as a path to something/somewhere else as atheists believe the end is the final destination. I really like how in India they have a special ritual call “Teravih” in which they mourn for there loved ones for 13 days after there funeral and respectfully do not indulge in various lavish activities. This Is very similar to my culture in Mexico in which people also mourn for various days in which they pray for there past loved ones. This really brings death To the light and the decisions we should make if we get a chance to before we die or the people who we leave behind might not put you to rest as you’d like. I would love to be buried in France or Ireland in a prairie, somewhere calm, peace full and far less crowded than a cemetery in the city. Lastly please do not cremate me. I felt this blog was very well thought out and provided a lot of information on how people like to be put to rest after death.

Mentor

Michelle,

The post/ blog explains to us that everyone does a certain funeral rite and they all believe their way is the right. But no one really knows. I have see that everyone thinks too about which way is right or wrong, An aspect I valued was "Neitzche is getting at the idea that most people look at this event or anything else through one perspective or lens". It shows how everyones opinion is formed through their experiences and religion. This project matters to me because everyone forms their own opinions of things not just death because of the differences people can never what is true. Also last year while studying Ancient Egypt and Ancient Greece (SPARTANS!) I understand a bit more about funeral rites. I think it would have been better if this had been a compare and contrast between American and Indian funeral rites and why they may be like that.

Protege

Hw # 55 - Culminating Project

" You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Everyone decides on how their final event in life should be arranged depending on their religion and/or culture. By letting one’s spouse or family members know how one wants to be cared for once dead. But who says the funeral arrangements one chooses is the wrong way or the right way to do it? Nietzsche is getting at the idea that most people look at this event or anything else through one perspective or lens. Believing it is the right way, even if there is no wrong or right way to bury someone. For this unit, I would like to open our perspective to not only the way Americans take care of the dead and view death, but how another country does and specifically in India.

In the Indian society, the people generally practice Buddhism or Hinduism thus affecting their rituals and ideas toward the dead. Culture has a great affect on how the people decide to care for their dead, because of the traditions and religions most practiced in the culture. “ Hinduism originated in India, with belief in the cycles of being born and dying in an infinite series of lives or successive creations” (Matzo, and Sherman, Witt 27). Those who practice Hindu do not believe that when we die it is the end of everything, as the atheists do and neither do they believe in Heaven and Hell as the Catholics do. Hindus believe that we are in a continuous cycle of birth and death. Of course, no one has died and told the story of what happens after death but wouldn’t it be nice to think that we are just born again or born as another creation? This book also states that in India they perform funeral pyres and when I looked up what a pyre was, it said a pyre was a structure made of wood to burn a body, a form of cremation where body is placed and set on fire. Those who practice Hindu and Sikh religion do this funeral rite.

The people who practice Buddhism do not believe in a God or a soul, “ Buddhism teaches that suffering is part of life and that in death there is transference of consciousness out of the body” ” (Matzo, and Sherman, Witt 27). This confused me so I searched the exact definition of each word, soul and consciousness. The dictionary described the word soul as a person’s essence while consciousness was described as the relationship between our mind and the world. But similarly to Hinduism, Buddhists believe in rebirth except of the simple transference of our consciousness to another body. In this part of the world cremating is popular the Harper’s Magazine states, “ By some the dead were burned and their ashes preserved in sacred urns. In India, and some other countries, this custom still prevails to some extent” ("Harper's Magazine" 310) To them the body is not important once person has died because they will be reborn in another leading to them cremating the deceased right away.

Another ritual in India is Teravih, which is “ a period of mourning observed by Indian people, starting from the day of the death of a particular person, whether male, female or children, to the 13^th day after his/her funeral” ("iloveindia.com"). This is a Hindu death ceremony; it is done to ensure the person’s “peaceful crossover to the next level of his/her existence”. ("iloveindia.com"). During which they did not do certain things like wearing new clothes or indulging in sweets or attending any festivities, all done out of respect to the deceased.

The Heart of Hinduism website gave information on how the Hindu ceremony is observed. First the body is cleaned, dressed in a fresh cloth and covered in flowers, then “A few drops of Ganges water are placed in the mouth. The corpse is then carried on a stretcher to the cremation grounds accompanied by kirtan, chanting mantras such as "Ram Nam Satya Hai" (the name of Rama is truth). The eldest son lights the funeral pyre. For renunciates, it is considered important that the skull is cracked, and this is sometimes part of the ritual, apparently urging the departed soul to move on. Towards the end of the ceremony a priest or relative recites appropriate verses from scripture” ("Antyeshti: Funeral Rites"). The natural world is important to the Indian people from the flowers to wood the dead are burned in to the ashes placed in Ganga or a sacred river. In the ceremony the important part is the breaking of skull because it shows how they believe the body is now useless so the soul can now move on to the next body.

After doing this paper I learned more about India’s culture and the religions practiced there, on death and the care of the dead there. Hope as a reader, it has been informative on another perspective of this unit.

Bibliography

Harper's Magazine. 33 Vols. New York, NY: Harper & Brothers, Publishers, 1866. 310. eBook.

"Indian Funeral Traditions." iloveindia.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 14 May 2011. .

Matzo, Marianne, and Sherman, Deborah. Palliative Care Nursing: Quality Care to the End of Life. 3rd Ed. New York, NY: Springer Publishing Company, 2009. 27. Print.

"the heart of hinduism." Antyeshti: Funeral Rites. ISKON Educational Services, 2004. Web. 14 May 2011. .

Hw # 54

I grew up going to church every Sunday of my life from the moment I was a crying baby to today and probably will continue to until the end of my life. This was something very important to my parents because they had been taken to church every week and had been passed down this religion, so they wanted to do the same with their own kids. The priest at my church talked of this way parents would enforce their religion on their kids back in the day and now due to growth of technology and many more ideas taught in school he believed that these days were over. He told me how one time a young couple came into the church that had been standing shyly in the back, so he approached them. He asked them what they were observing and they said how beautiful the church was. Thus leading him to ask them what they believed in, the young man quickly responded science, he spoke of how science can explain everything even life. The young girl responded she was a Buddhist. This reminded me of a part I read in Curtains, of author saying how believing in something whether it in science or Catholicism it keeps us going on with our day, to believe that there is an explanation for life, for death and the afterlife or else we’d just be shriveled up in a corner.

Then in a text we read in church on the Sunday of mother's day it connected to the whole aspect of the afterlife and Heaven from A reading from the Act of the Apostles 2:14, 22 – 23, it said “ I saw the lord ever before me, with him at my right hand I shall not be disturbed. Therefore my heart has been glad and my tongue has been exulted; my flesh too, will dwell in hope, because you will not abandon my soul to the netherworld, nor will you suffer your holy one to see corruption. You have made known to me the paths of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence” (Liturgical Press 253). In the last sentence David speaks of how God will not abandon him into the “netherworld”; nothingness the minute he dies but instead will go to heaven at his side. This is the part of this religion that is comforting to the catholic people or even those who just believe the idea of a Heaven because it is nice to believe that death is not the end of everything. This thought can be overwhelming because anyone who loves life and living, don’t want to think that after death there is just a gaping hole of nothingness. This according to Bible and the priest the way you go to Heaven, if you follow the path of God and if one ever commits a sin must confess to be cleansed of our sins when the day comes to meet God.

Then my little brother told me about a place called the Purgatory that he was taught about in Sunday school by a catechist, where he has to attend to be confirmed. She told him of how when someone dies in an accident and/or dies without having their sins forgiven; they will not go to Heaven or Hell but a place called the Purgatory. Where the person’s soul (soul is what goes to Heaven or Hell while our body rots and eaten by worms), remains in the " in between" between Heaven and Hell while family below prays for the person’s forgiveness of their sins and if they regretted their sins they will go to Heaven. If they did not they would go to Hell. In Sunday school, children are taught fully in depth all the ideas of this religion and have their questions answered to actually know about the religion they are practicing.

Hw # 53 - Independent Research A

1)

Article 1:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/15/nyregion/in-funeral-industry-womens-presence-grows.html?_r=1&scp=2&sq=funeral&st=cse

Precis - Women are taking over jobs in the funeral industry. This was not so in the 1970s, the gap between the number of male versus females working at funeral homes now has closed. 7 year old Lisa knew the moment she saw body of her dead great uncle that she wanted to take part in this process of making a dead person look peaceful. For women it was harder for them to obtain a job in this industry than it was for a male. Even today, people are surprised to see a woman driving a hearse.

This is an aspect of this unit we haven't touched upon much, on the actual people who work in these funeral homes that take care of the bodies of our loved ones. The history behind the gender that has been working in this industry from back in the day specifically 1970s to now, year 2011. It wasn't much of a surprise because I can see how back then the male role played more of the one who took care of things, without women seeing or participating in it because of their fear of death.

Article 2:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/04/12/nyregion/12funerals.html?scp=6&sq=funeral&st=cse

The second you see these three words: music, food and drinks everyone thinks of a party, but not for the people from Ghana. In Ghana, these things are a part of a funeral which for them are the biggest expense made to celebrate the life of person who has passed away. People who attend these funerals are not expected the person who has passed away but can donate money helping family rise money for rest of the funeral expenses or to send the body back to Africa.

This article helped answer one of my questions that I had from the beginning of this unit, of how other places in the world do funerals and their rituals. I found it fascinating how these people from Ghana instead of Americans don't see this time as sadness but a time to have a festivity to drink to the person who has passed away. I wonder though if they were close to family member do they have any sorrow even if just in privacy of their home and then celebrate? To find two different other culture's rituals for funerals is fun and lets one be open to other ideas on what to request for our own funeral.

2)

Larche and I went to the Frank E. Campbell The Funeral Chapel, the funeral home near my house. The moment we entered the huge black metal doors, the reception was lightly dimmed. The receptionist was a petite pale woman dressed in all black who spoke softly. The place was old - fashioned and cold, with velvet walls, wooden furniture and chandeliers covering the ceiling. The decor had a vampire - esque feel to it. What also caught my eye was that straight ahead of entrance in the back was a room full of white stone blocks which of course thinking of vampires I thought were coffins but then I peered closer because I knew that was silly thought and saw that they were pews of the funeral home's chapel. We asked about the deterioration of the bodies and we were told that they are prohibited from representing that the deterioration of human remains can be prevented for more than a limited time by embalming, caskets, vaults or outer interment receptacles. Did you know that the direct cremation price ranges from $8,500 to $13,000?! There are also several disclosures made by the State, for example one New York State disclosure was that if you want to arrange a direct cremation, you may use an unfinished wooden box or alternative container. Another disclosure was an authorization is required for a funeral home to obtain custody of a body, and a body must be released promptly upon request.

It was astonishing to see the price of all that goes into every little detail of our funeral, like the casket to embalming, clothing or service. When I showed my mom the prices, she said something that I thought was true, "Well you better start saving. Living is expensive but so is dying." I thought being cremated might be less expensive but cremations are just as expensive. Before this research didn't know exact pricing or all things you could purchase and it seems like such a hassle. I am glad that when I die won't have to worry about all this because there is not much for me to do but lay in my box. I also found it interesting that there was chapel in the very own funeral home allowing religious families to have a service for their loved one who has passed away. For me it was the first time entering a funeral home and I probably would have never unless someone close to me died.

Hw # 50

Hi, my name is Tom Jokinken and the writer of book called Curtains: Adventures of an Undertaker – in – Training. I had moved to Winnipeg to be in the same postal code as my wife where I worked at CBC radio at first, but I then decided to take a month’s leave to intern at a family – owned funeral home. This is where I was inspired to write this book and the whole reason why came to work there was because, I wanted to find out why we humans do certain things when some one dies and how we handle the body, the left overs. Neil the owner of this funeral home toured me around the first day, where I got to see the stillness of empty old ladies and the violence of retort. (Retort is where body are place to be cremated, number one retort deal with heavier bodies while number two retort preferred thin elderly bodies without much fat). After interning there for a few months I decided wanted to stay longer, so quit my job at CBC radio, starting a new life.

· “ Two rules for picking up a body at the hospital, known as a “removal”: (1) Make sure it’s the right one. This is business, when you shake it down to first principles, is the burial or cremation of the dead, two irreversible acts… (2) Never stop for food on the way back to the funeral home when you’re “carrying,” not even at a drive – thru. It’s bad for the brand, and is apt to put other drive thru – ers off doughnuts.” (Jokinken 1)

· There’s a time, from when someone dies to when they magically pop up at the funeral or the cemetery or as a bag of ashes, that remains a black hole, invisible to the rest of the world, and everyone’s happy with the arrangement. We in the funeral service cover the gap. People pay us to keep to ourselves what goes on there”. (Jokinken 5)

· “ … humans are the only ones who know they’re going to die and even worse, they know they know it, and it’s not something they can “unknow.” All they can do is distract themselves, briefly, like you might mask the smell of burnt food by spraying the kitchen with Lysol”. (Jokinken 7)

· “ Look at it this way: We evolved, beautifully, from monkeys into type – A control freaks, with a system (government, laws, religion, organized labor and technology) designed to overcome nature. And for the most part, we pulled it off. There are only two weak spots where chaos sneaks in, wild, wet and savage, reminding us we’re doomed animals: sex and death. So we devised taboos to deal with former, to take away its power, and ritual to weaken the chaotic impact of the latter”. (Jokinken 22)

· “ What matters is the physical fact of death. We need to see it to know it, touch its hair or hands, feel how cold it is… If you don’t see the body, it’s as if it was lost at sea and you can harbor dreams that your loved one is still alive on some desert island with a coconut tree sending messages in bottles like in a New Yorker cartoon”. (Jokinken 86)

This text has a tone of lightness when talking of death and deathcare, making reader even laugh at these topics with a joke author makes like the one he says about bringing body along when going through a drive - thru is a definite no no because it would give the place a bad name. Letting me, the reader imagine this happening, how all the cars behind his would swerve around and leave with sick stomaches instead of a full one of doughnuts. His detail of the rituals being done to dead bodies for example the one of him watching the bodies being places in the retorts to be cremated were gruesome and violent for the reader, how the body becomes simply human dust and pieces of bone. It was sad during the scene where he is helping dress the dead old ladies, because they were well groomed it was hard to believe they were empty, goners when author believes they would rather be sitting on their couch watching Wheel of Fortune. It made think of how one day I'll be in this position of being prepped for burial, laying lifeless when I'd rather not be... Well so far after reading first third of the book, I am enjoying the book.

Hw # 49

Evan,

By interviewing your parents about the care of the dead, something I'm sure you would have never done, or I would have done with my own parents before this unit. You were able to find out about your parents views on the care of the dead and even found that they act similarly during these situations.The line I most valued was," I agree with my parents even when I questioned the system being morally right... Yet I thought this system was a social practice and all social practices have bonders that if crossed you were out casted but the system allows for any variation imaginable which makes it beautiful." From every units we have learned some way of how our social practices may seem normal but actually if looked more closely have a negative aspect, so I wonder what it'll be in this unit. Only thing that would have made this post even better would have been questioning parents a little more, maybe how they want to be cared or the emotions that they or other around them felt during a funeral or any other question you had. But other than that good job!

Stephanie

To start with you had great questions, questions that would receive good answers with little elaboration. But i've learned after couple of interview that it helps to tell them some background info first on what we are studying this unit for them to be able to answer well. But overall it was good, how you learned how your mothers have two complete different point of views on belief of the dead but still agree on that there should be a certain respect for the dead. I liked how the last line wrapped up your blog, " Asking my parents these clarifying questions definitely helped me understand there thoughts and beliefs on how they would handle the care of the dead" because for me this HW did the same thing for me. Only thing could have done was to proof read, besides that well done!

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Protege:

Michelle,

On a basic level this post (Hw#46) is about how different people and cultures care for their dead and how they perform their funeral rituals, specifically in Mexico. As well as the topic of death itself that you've experienced. I value the aspect of wanting to learn more about different culture's funeral rituals. It matters to me because now I realize that not everyone performs same rituals and don't what these different rituals are, looking at this topic through one perspective. The only small thing that would have made this post 100% better would be to know what those other questions you have in this unit.

Mentor:

Michelle,

This Post is very true; people don't really talk about death or mortality yet it is something no one can escape. I have also not had anyone close to me pass away but it must be scary knowing someone that you were with him or her in their last moments or if you could have prevented it. I like how you brought up different cultures and religions as their views on death, the care of the dead and afterlife in some cases are very different and something I find very interesting. This is a subject that I think should be talked about a bit more at home just to get any the fear that some people have out of the way or to answer any questions young people may have. I’m sure most of these answers will be varied because of different religions but that way kids have more comfort I would have loved to hear more about the details of different cultures and religions in regards to death and the care of the dead as some see it as the end of life and others as a transition to something else, but otherwise I think this is very well written and gives readers some insight on Mexican culture and their culture when it comes to the death of a loved one.

From Stephanie,

It was so interesting reading your initials thoughts. I also found it interesting that at your age some one close hasn't died, know a days I hear about death left and right because of all these diseases such as cancer, aids, etc. I liked how you really got into detail about how your culture handles the dead and if our culture took on some rituals from your culture the death process might be more about the dead loved one instead of what there coffin looks like and how much money is spent on the tombstone. I noticed your grammar and spelling has improved tremendously, keep up the great work!

From Evan,

To Michelle - First I want to say your blessed because a lot of my family has past away in resent years. You talked about one of your class mates ding which I can't imagine ever happening to one of my fellow classmates. This must have been a bit traumatizing for you seeing a person the same age as you dying. A friend i lost contact with died and it was hard for me to handle. I cant imagine what you went threw at the age of 13. You made a great comment "As a child, I was innocent and the concept of dead people hadn’t been introduced to me yet" Children are hidden from death in general because adults feel that death is to real for them to see. But is it really to real, if children's shows didn't portray people as living forever would it be hard for children to accept? Great Post !!!

HW # 48

I decided to first interview my mom, who is Roman Catholic and Mexican. She grew in a town where almost everyone knew each other, so she attended several funerals through out her life. From all the funerals attended only one stood out, because in Mexico back then and still today many practice Catholicism, making the rituals all pretty much the same at every funeral. Rituals that I mentioned about in my previous blog # 46, “ the Mexican people have them at home in the casket covered surrounded by wreaths of flowers. Where the family and friends prays over the coffin because in Mexico, homes are actual houses not tiny apartments. Then the next day he or she is taken to the cemetery and the priest comes to pray and bless him or her before the person is finally buried. Then for 9 nights, they pray for this person but on the ninth night they pray with the cross that like a gravestone will be placed over the grave.” This time my mom adds that there is always someone guiding others in pray for the person who has passed away.

The funeral that stood out to her the family was from another religion (she thinks it might have been Evangelic but does not remember too well). Where instead of the usual praying over body, they incinerate the body right away holding no mass for the person who has passed away. The emotions my mother says that were felt in the room at every funeral she went to were of sadness, pain, suffering but most of all compassion for the family of the person who is now dead. What surprised me most during the interview was when I asked her if she had decided on how she would like to be cared for once she has passed away, and she said “No…” I was shocked because I expected it to be an immediate answer. She continues to say; “ I think my children will decide for me according to our religion and customs.” Again another shock, because I thought everyone might care to input on how they would like to be cared for after their death. But I think she trusts us to make the right decisions, knowing fully well my mother would never want to be incinerated and mentioned that she would like to be buried in her native land. In Mexico, buried beside the tomb of her parents.

Not done....

Hw # 47

PERSON # 1

1) Tell me a little bit about yourself; your background and age?

– I am 16 and I am Italian and Scotch Irish and I like to play soccer.

2) Have you ever been at a funeral?

a) If so what was it like if you can recall? The emotions you felt?

– I recall it being extremely sad; it was for a family member. It was about 2 to 3 years ago, meaning I was about 13 years old, so I knew what was going on. But it was still all new to me, and I had known him fairly well. What was new to me was the idea of death and what happens to the person once they die. All I could was comfort, to comfort my aunt by hugging her because it had been her husband.

b) If so how many?

– Just been to one Ms. Guzman.

3) Do you know how people from your background or religion take care of the dead?

Any special rituals conducted?

– We just do the normal catholic tradition, a wake and then a funeral. A wake is when the body out so everyone can see it. Then everyone goes up to the body and prays for them and gives their respects. It was a little weird for me, to see him in the casket. I could only see him from torso up, and he just looked at peace and so calm.

4) Have you decided on how you would like to be cared of? Buried or Cremated? Any specific place you would like to be buried?

– No I haven’t… Don’t really want to talk about.

PERSON # 2

1)

– So I am 16, going to be 17 at the end of this month. I am a junior at Beacon High School. I aspire to become a nurse specifically for the military. I practice shotokan karate and currently have a green belt. I play soccer and volleyball for fun.

2)

a) – Nope but I went to a memorial service at school recently. It was quiet and somber at first, a lot of silent tears and people speaking in whispers, but as my principal began as my principal began the service by asking the seniors to talk about memories they had of him and the mood changed and the laughter was heard, as some funny stories were untold.

b) – None

3) – An alter is put up in the family’s living room with their picture and favorite foods and personal objects. This is a Mexican and catholic ritual my family does, when someone passes away. It’s like the Day of the Dead (a Mexican tradition) but on the Day of the Dead everyone who has passes away are remembered and this can’t be done on their anniversary.

PERSON # 3

1)

- I am a female age of 17 :)

2)

a) - No I have never been at a funeral. In my culture only males attend a funeral; females stay back at home. I haven't been to one so I wouldn't know. Bust from what I heard from people who have attended its a hard time for everyone because it's like a shock wave. It takes time to accept the fact that someone has moved on to wherever they may be. Everyone usually cries or has depressed looks upon their faces; it's not a pretty sight. Again, this is not from my own personal experience.

b)– Zero

3)

- Yeah, in my religion there is a set of rules to follow when someone dies. The process after death occurs as soon as possible; no time is wasted, because we want the body to rest in peace without a long wait. First the body is taken home and given a holy bath. Then it is prepared to be buried; cotton is stuffed into the ears and the nose then a white cloth is placed over it. The close male family members then carry the body to the grave site and bury it while giving it prayers and reading parts of the Quran to it. The women back at home recite special prayers and surahs from the Quran; they count the number of times they read it by using date or fruit seeds. This goes on for several days. I am not sure but there is something that has to do with a 40 day period. Within these 40 days it is important to keep reading the Quran and praying for the one who died on a daily basis.

4)

- I don't need to make a decision; my decision is already made based on the religion I follow. Islam disapproves of cremation and has specific rites for how the body should be treated after death. Uh...no i don't have a specific place in mind to be buried; never thought about it before and I don't wanna think about that any time soon.

All the teenagers when I asked the final question, it took them a minute to think about it. I believe this is because humans in their teens don't think of death at this time in our lives, because (being one myself) we are young so we feel invincible and the thought of how we would like to be cared for once we are dead doesn't come up in our daily conversations or thoughts. I never before this unit thought of how I would like to go, buried or cremated. Hopefully this unit will help me make this decision or if not maybe later life I will find my answer. At the moment I want to buried, here in NY the place I was born in and have lived in my entire life. Through these interviews I was able to learn a bit more on other cultures and religions and their take on how a person must be cared for after he/she 's death. I also noticed that the teens I've interviewed have never been to a funeral or have only attended a few, I wonder why that is? Is it because as teens we ignore the dying that happens around us until we reach closer to the end? The second person I interviewed brought to my attention another ritual we do once the person has passed away to commemorate like a memorial service.

Hw # 46***(This one)

My personal experience with this topic is less than what the typical person has, because I fortunately have not had anyone close to me die. But then again I haven’t lived for so long. Unless you count the time I was in middle school, I recall it being 7^th grade and I was playing basketball with a boy who hours later was announced dead. After announcing the person has died, hospitals always do an autopsy to find out the cause of death before burying or cremating them, unless the family does not give consent for it. In my classmate’s case, due to his family’s religion, they did not allow an autopsy. Many of his classmates and I were invited to his funeral, but at the time I remember not wanting to go. I did not want to recall him as someone now laying dead in a casket but who he had been a funny and jubilant teenager.

As a child, I was innocent and the concept of dead people hadn’t been introduced to me yet. Making me believe that we were immortals, until of course it came up at school, a place where most people learn about these things like death, curses, sex, etc… After finding out, I also learned that in my parent’s and now my religion Catholic people tend to be buried, something I’m not sure yet on which way I want to go. A decision everyone must make and if made too late, others will make for him or her when they pass away, having a burial OR a cremation. When someone died that my parents knew, I learned that every time they mentioned the person’s name they would say “ Insert name, en paz descansa.” Which in English means RIP – rest in peace, which my family and my culture does after naming a person who had passed away, out of respect.

In my culture (Mexican) instead of having the dead person in a coffin at the graveyard and standing over watching the coffin being buried, the Mexican people have them at home in the casket covered surrounded by wreaths of flowers. Where the family and friends prays over the coffin because in Mexico, homes are actual houses not tiny apartments. Then the next day he or she is taken to the cemetery and the priest comes to pray and bless him or her before the person is finally buried. Then for 9 nights, they pray for this person but on the ninth night they pray with the cross that like a gravestone will be placed over the grave. This is how people in Mexico take car of their dead, a country where many of the people are Catholics but of course everyone has his or her own little changes.

Something I would like to learn more about during this unit is what do other religions or cultures do for the care of their dead. For example, I remember learning that in Egypt many of the royals and people would have all their gold and treasure be buried with them. So what is it like in Brazil, India, etc? Do the Jews, Christians or any other religion have different rituals? These are some of the questions I would like have answered during the course of this unit.